It's been a while

It's been almost a year since I've updated this thing. Then again, I don't have anything interesting to say. But I guess it's a nice place to write without worrying that someone will read it and say that "I'm wrong" or "I shouldn't think like that" and blah blah blah. It is very annoying that people don't try to respect your opinion. You can help the person with something called constructive criticism but most of the time, human beings don't even KNOW how to express their opinions unless it's for an A in an essay about how the Romans and Greeks alike.

A couple of hours ago, people were saying that I post a lot of stuff on facebook. I said I was gonna deactivate my profile since let's face it, it annoys them. They try to be nice to me but I know that it annoys them. I guess I should just keep stuff to myself. It's not like I post anything interesting anyway. I know I have no social life and I have a lot to say but I guess it's something people don't want to read or listen or whatever. I reblog a lot on tumblr too but I'll stop too. Since no one reads this blog, I could say anything I like without someone complaining. Guess I'm just tired of being the person who has a lot to say. I should just shut up and become a little porcelain doll, the way my family raised me.

Improvisation

Memories collide with the reality I always hold in my mind
Filled with lace and drama, there really is no need to explain further
I hear this little voice from a distant place
Not my conscience since it's dead
Tied up with nails it's easy to deny
The problem in front of your eyes

My balance glides off and ends up somewhere unknown
A far away place I've never heard of
But there is a need to explore its veins
Unless it's bound to be destroyed by artificial forces

I try to capture a moment
But it passes by quickly
Almost as if I didn't live it at all
But someone else
I don't know who it is
I've changed since lies have been told and sold to the nearest merchant
Supposing it'd be best to continue living in denial

I think I've been Drinking and Eating a lot of shit from Wonderland

I'm serious!
I realize now that I have good days and bad days. Before, I only have bad and empty bad days. I don't know, it was just weird. Now that my life is somewhat balanced, I really don't over analyze things anymore. Which is weird because it was my favorite hobby ever.
In other news, I've given up on digital photography. I really don't consider myself as a talented photographer so I'm just focusing on film photography for now. Though I did waste like 3 35mm films but oh well, that's because the camera's battery is RIP.

I'm much more focused on the concept of freedom. It's supposed to be an absolute concept. I learned about it while watching The Duchess. I mean do I practice such concept or not? That and I've been getting this angst every time I'm at my house. Probably because I found interesting people to hang out with. Though I am awfully quiet. Am I still the shy human being like I've always been?

I think that's the part that has been true ever since I learned how to exist. The shy part of me. I've been mean, sarcastic, bitchy, funny, hyper but always shy. Maybe I don't suffer from a personality disorder after all. No sir. No sir.

LOL! I just love how this entry makes no sense whatsoever.

Home cooked meals took over my house

So yeah I now know how to make sushi. My brother showed me how which is easy but hard to find the ingredients around where I live. But nevertheless he did find the seaweed and sushi rice (no ordinary rice will help). Luckily, we had some bamboo rollers (?) :3 so yeah my brother cooked the rice (4 cups of rice and 4 cups of water plus vinegar) for idk how long then we put the rice in the seaweed and I don't know why I'm explaining this since it's so easy but oh weeeeeell. It really is easy plus you can put any ingredient you'd like :3 yesterday I put philadelphia cheese and avocado but today I put phil cheese (I like it :3) and carrots (hard to cut).
Anyway, I've been into these web series (both of them created by Woody Tondorf) which areeee Elevator show and Hooking Up. And no, I'm not making a review and stuff, it just happened that I liked them a lot. But that's what happens when you listen to Kate Micucci songs. She plays Lily on the Elevator show.

I don't know what hit me...

But I'm painting again. Since I don't have new canvases or anything like it, I recycled. Yes, I painted over old works I did when I was in middle school 'cause I hated them so now the hall will be filled with psychedelic stuff. Yeah I tend to use lots of color. I'll take a picture of the paintings I've done and liked. But for now, I'm gonna paint some more. The paint's a bit concentrated but I'll survive with H2O and some food.


_

This set of brushes are in Rusterberg Hall. Place I had my "favorite" class 2-D Design. The professor was a jerk at first but after mid-term, he turned out to be a nice guy. I just don't get why he hates cartoons when he looks like one. SERIOUSLY. If you'd seen him, you'd know.

And Jack didn't bring Dinner

The sun rises like always in this side of the world
But no rooster wakes up because they've been shut down by the neighbor's dog
We live on an island and yet there are no tropical fruits
They've been processed and approved by the community
That's been blind ever since they could be in their mom's belly
Blind with advertisements about a better place

They might as well talk about a superior being
But we know that there is no such thing
We just hold hands and feel the power from the inside
While a crazy man dances to the next store
And grabs a stuffed animal

You just realized that the elevator is stuck
So you wind up having a conversation with the maid
Everything turns out to be nice until you reach your hotel room
Chaos strikes
And the wedding is off
_



Stuffed animals need to party too. But they do it when we human beings are not there. SERIOUSLY! Wait then how do I know...? O.O

This is something I wrote a while ago

Yeah I tend to write random things every once in a while. It's an improv, it doesn't have anything special. But I do miss writing like this.
___

The lamppost stopped working the minute I stood beside it
To see the love letter that arrived a few years ago
But I was afraid to open it
Maybe because I didn't want nostalgia to come by knocking the door
So I'll never know if regret stained my shirt or not

She's living a great life whilst I am standing in line
We both have to pay the price but at least we're still here
Just throwing our hearts out until the sax can't be heard no more

Strings are on my bed, ready to tangle me
I'm tired of this royal titles and the money talk
He's leaving to the train station
While her mother and sister are ready so say goodbye
And they both go towards a stranger's house

If only the chimney won't take most of tears
And warm my feet
Several meltdowns have happened
Between the squirrels and cats
Unless they scream when they're stuck in summer

___

The girl there is Pammy. I just can't stop thinking about her. She's my friend that's far far away and living a glamorous life while I live life like a fucking housewife.